Yesterday we had to make a trip to Wal-mart. Generally, it's a place I avoid, but I needed a bunch of random things that I knew I could get in one stop if I went there. And with the four and two year olds with me, one stop shopping is a bonus. Well, you know how it is at Wal-mart. You see all that human kind has to offer. The good, the bad, the ugly, the I can't believe I'm really seeing that! And have I mentioned that my two year old is very verbal. The kid can talk in complete sentences and he just turned two. (Amazing to me since my other 2 kids were late talkers.)
So we are walking down the isle and we see one of those people that should be on "People of Wal-mart". This girl was probably in her twenties, was wearing all black, had her hair dyed jet black, and to top it all off she was wearing purple velvet cat ears. Well, my youngest just watched her walk by with his eyes all wide. I'm thinking, I know, I can't believe it either, kid.
baby: "Who's that mama?"
me: "I don't know, honey."
pause while he contemplates....
baby: "Big bad wolf?"
me: "No honey, it's not the big bad wolf." As I bite my lip so I don't die from laughter.
Friday, June 24, 2011
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Can I have my first brain back?
Aliens could take a few notes from our human kids on brain swapping. All those cases of being abducted by aliens and being experimented on? That's just their field trip.
"Look at this female human, the smaller humans have made a complete brain transplant without even leaving a scar! Make sure you look over the entire body for any clues."
Yup. Our children are the experts at brainwashing. Before I had kids, I was smart. I knew a lot of stuff. I would give you examples, but I don't even remember what I've forgotten at this point. The first baby wasn't so bad. I was in college when she was little, so I was able to counteract some of the brainwashing. I even graduated with a GPA somewhere between 3.5 and 4.0. I don't know exactly what it was, that too is gone. But, at least I have proof! I once had a fully functioning brain!
Now that I have 3 kids, I don't think there is any hope of getting my old brain back. It's long gone. My new brain didn't even come with a complete dictionary! I've completely forgotten how to spell simple words, heck I've just plain forgotten simple words!
Me "Honey, have you seen my things that go in the thing?"
Hubby "I have no idea what you are talking about."
Me "You know, the things... it starts with an R I think, and they turn in the thing that starts with a different letter. I left them where I always do."
Hubby "Then look there, I still have no idea what you are talking about."
Me "I would look there if I remembered where I leave them."
"oh wait, here they are!" (Me holding up keys in victory!)
Hubby "your keys?!" (Hubby shakes head and laughs at me.)
I was once good at math, too. It's true. I aced calculus in high school. Now, I have to use my fingers to count how many people we are going to have for dinner.
Kids don't leave us completely brain dead, though! Oh no, my new brain is full to the brim! I know the name and personality of every train on the Island of Sodor (that's where Thomas the tank engine lives, don't you know). I can sing all the songs from all the Barbie movies. I can sing and act out the "quack quack waddle waddle" song like a pro. My fine motor skills are now focused on undoing knots on Barbie's bathing suit. I can quote the movie "Cars" from beginning to end. I can read Dr. Suess's ABCs with my eyes closed (Aunt Annie's alligator, A A A). My culinary skills have soared. I can perfectly cut a peanut butter and jelly sandwich into two big triangles and two slightly smaller triangles (this is a big deal to the four year old). I know all the names of the backyardigans and can sound like baby jaguar from diego. I even know that Hannah Montana is so yesterday, and Selena Gomez is totally cool.
Luckily my kids are cute and reward me with lots of hugs and kisses when I've learned a new trick. Maybe someday I'll find my old brain, but I guess this one is going to be here to stay for a while!
"Look at this female human, the smaller humans have made a complete brain transplant without even leaving a scar! Make sure you look over the entire body for any clues."
Yup. Our children are the experts at brainwashing. Before I had kids, I was smart. I knew a lot of stuff. I would give you examples, but I don't even remember what I've forgotten at this point. The first baby wasn't so bad. I was in college when she was little, so I was able to counteract some of the brainwashing. I even graduated with a GPA somewhere between 3.5 and 4.0. I don't know exactly what it was, that too is gone. But, at least I have proof! I once had a fully functioning brain!
Now that I have 3 kids, I don't think there is any hope of getting my old brain back. It's long gone. My new brain didn't even come with a complete dictionary! I've completely forgotten how to spell simple words, heck I've just plain forgotten simple words!
Me "Honey, have you seen my things that go in the thing?"
Hubby "I have no idea what you are talking about."
Me "You know, the things... it starts with an R I think, and they turn in the thing that starts with a different letter. I left them where I always do."
Hubby "Then look there, I still have no idea what you are talking about."
Me "I would look there if I remembered where I leave them."
"oh wait, here they are!" (Me holding up keys in victory!)
Hubby "your keys?!" (Hubby shakes head and laughs at me.)
I was once good at math, too. It's true. I aced calculus in high school. Now, I have to use my fingers to count how many people we are going to have for dinner.
Kids don't leave us completely brain dead, though! Oh no, my new brain is full to the brim! I know the name and personality of every train on the Island of Sodor (that's where Thomas the tank engine lives, don't you know). I can sing all the songs from all the Barbie movies. I can sing and act out the "quack quack waddle waddle" song like a pro. My fine motor skills are now focused on undoing knots on Barbie's bathing suit. I can quote the movie "Cars" from beginning to end. I can read Dr. Suess's ABCs with my eyes closed (Aunt Annie's alligator, A A A). My culinary skills have soared. I can perfectly cut a peanut butter and jelly sandwich into two big triangles and two slightly smaller triangles (this is a big deal to the four year old). I know all the names of the backyardigans and can sound like baby jaguar from diego. I even know that Hannah Montana is so yesterday, and Selena Gomez is totally cool.
Luckily my kids are cute and reward me with lots of hugs and kisses when I've learned a new trick. Maybe someday I'll find my old brain, but I guess this one is going to be here to stay for a while!
Friday, June 10, 2011
A night in the life of a mom
This morning, I'm exhausted. Which is nothing new, I've been tired for 10 years. After nights like last night, I don't know if I should laugh or cry.
Last night started when I got all the kids in bed. First the baby went to bed at 8. Amazingly he didn't fight it or cry or anything. Not that he went right to sleep or anything. I could hear him chatting away on the monitor for quite a while. This is when I have to decide what to do with the 4 yr old. They share a room, and it works out well for the most part, but they can't go to bed at the same time if they are both awake. This results in whispering, that turns into talking, that turns into laughing, jumping, yelling, and 2 wound up deliriously overtired boys. Not my cup of tea at the end of the day. Since baby was still awake, I decide to take his brother into my room. I put him in my bed, turn on the lamp on the bedside table and tuck him in, telling him I'm going to put him in his own bed once his brother falls asleep. Next it's big sister's turn. She ends up weaseling her bedtime back to 9pm (usually she's in bed before 8:30, this is a kid that still needs at least 11 hours of sleep to resemble a human in the morning). Luckily she goes to bed without a fight. I go check on 4 yr old and find him passed out width-wise across the queen size bed. Both lamps are turned on, my book is on the floor, with the bookmark beside it, the cap is off my chapstick and it looks like a beaver has chopped it down. Sure enough, his face is a shiny mess. I move him to his own room, go downstairs and watch my show. For 2 hours, it's just me, watching mindless television... heaven! After my show, I go upstairs to take a bath before I hit the sack. Unfortunately the cat has decided this is the perfect time to take a trip to the litter box which is, you guessed it, in the bathroom. I don't feel like waiting for the stink to dissipate so I call it a night and head to bed. Only to find the 4 yr old back in my bed. So off to his own room he goes once again. This time I end up tripping over a train on the floor, which makes the baby stir. I wait, like a statue, not breathing, until I'm sure he didn't really wake up. And in to bed I go.
As I'm falling asleep, the wonderful cat decides to join me. You know how cats do that thing when they use their paws to soften things up before they lay down? Well, my cat does that to my pillow, only my hair is on my pillow so every step feels like she's pulling my hair out. After tucking all my hair under my head, she stops and plops down on my head. Her favorite place to sleep. Luckily, I've grown used to this, or I'm too tired to care, and I actually sleep better with the cat on my head now.
Fast forward to 3:30am. Baby cries. I go into his room, hoping he hasn't woken his brother up. He sees me and yells "YAY!! MAMA!!" It's nice to get such a warm greeting, but I'd love it a lot more if it wasn't the middle of the night. We go to the rocking chair in my room and rock for about 15 minutes. The whole time he tries to pick my nose, play with my teeth, anything to keep him occupied so he can't fall asleep. We move to the bed since I can't keep my eyes open (unless they are peeled open by little fingers). After a little while, he finally falls asleep. I get up, take him to his crib, and step on the darn train again. Back to the rocking chair and the whole thing repeats. Finally at 5am, he is asleep deeply enough for me to get up and go to the bathroom, which I've needed to do since about 3:45. I come back to bed, fall asleep. 15 minutes later, the baby yells (he's still in bed with me, I gave up on putting him back in his crib). I open my eyes and see the cat staring at me, which is very confusing when you are only half awake and think you will see your baby. Turns out baby is yelling because cat is standing on him. So I shoo the cat out of the room and shut the door, get baby to fall back asleep. At 6am, I hear a thud and crying,. Look around and find baby has fallen off the bed. Luckily baby is fine, not even really awake. I had pillows next to him to prevent him from rolling off the bed, but he had pushed those off and landing on them. I just pull him back in bed with me, because even though I feel like a horrible mother for letting him fall off the bed, I'm too tired to do anything about it at his point and it's never happened before, so I figure we'll be ok. At 6:30 the 4 yr old comes in and I tell him something unintelligible and he disappears. A few minutes later I hear him screaming and come downstairs to find him and his sister awake and fighting already. I go upstairs to put baby in his crib so we don't have a repeat of him falling off the bed. But of course, this wakes him up and he's ready for the day.
And my day begins....
Last night started when I got all the kids in bed. First the baby went to bed at 8. Amazingly he didn't fight it or cry or anything. Not that he went right to sleep or anything. I could hear him chatting away on the monitor for quite a while. This is when I have to decide what to do with the 4 yr old. They share a room, and it works out well for the most part, but they can't go to bed at the same time if they are both awake. This results in whispering, that turns into talking, that turns into laughing, jumping, yelling, and 2 wound up deliriously overtired boys. Not my cup of tea at the end of the day. Since baby was still awake, I decide to take his brother into my room. I put him in my bed, turn on the lamp on the bedside table and tuck him in, telling him I'm going to put him in his own bed once his brother falls asleep. Next it's big sister's turn. She ends up weaseling her bedtime back to 9pm (usually she's in bed before 8:30, this is a kid that still needs at least 11 hours of sleep to resemble a human in the morning). Luckily she goes to bed without a fight. I go check on 4 yr old and find him passed out width-wise across the queen size bed. Both lamps are turned on, my book is on the floor, with the bookmark beside it, the cap is off my chapstick and it looks like a beaver has chopped it down. Sure enough, his face is a shiny mess. I move him to his own room, go downstairs and watch my show. For 2 hours, it's just me, watching mindless television... heaven! After my show, I go upstairs to take a bath before I hit the sack. Unfortunately the cat has decided this is the perfect time to take a trip to the litter box which is, you guessed it, in the bathroom. I don't feel like waiting for the stink to dissipate so I call it a night and head to bed. Only to find the 4 yr old back in my bed. So off to his own room he goes once again. This time I end up tripping over a train on the floor, which makes the baby stir. I wait, like a statue, not breathing, until I'm sure he didn't really wake up. And in to bed I go.
As I'm falling asleep, the wonderful cat decides to join me. You know how cats do that thing when they use their paws to soften things up before they lay down? Well, my cat does that to my pillow, only my hair is on my pillow so every step feels like she's pulling my hair out. After tucking all my hair under my head, she stops and plops down on my head. Her favorite place to sleep. Luckily, I've grown used to this, or I'm too tired to care, and I actually sleep better with the cat on my head now.
Fast forward to 3:30am. Baby cries. I go into his room, hoping he hasn't woken his brother up. He sees me and yells "YAY!! MAMA!!" It's nice to get such a warm greeting, but I'd love it a lot more if it wasn't the middle of the night. We go to the rocking chair in my room and rock for about 15 minutes. The whole time he tries to pick my nose, play with my teeth, anything to keep him occupied so he can't fall asleep. We move to the bed since I can't keep my eyes open (unless they are peeled open by little fingers). After a little while, he finally falls asleep. I get up, take him to his crib, and step on the darn train again. Back to the rocking chair and the whole thing repeats. Finally at 5am, he is asleep deeply enough for me to get up and go to the bathroom, which I've needed to do since about 3:45. I come back to bed, fall asleep. 15 minutes later, the baby yells (he's still in bed with me, I gave up on putting him back in his crib). I open my eyes and see the cat staring at me, which is very confusing when you are only half awake and think you will see your baby. Turns out baby is yelling because cat is standing on him. So I shoo the cat out of the room and shut the door, get baby to fall back asleep. At 6am, I hear a thud and crying,. Look around and find baby has fallen off the bed. Luckily baby is fine, not even really awake. I had pillows next to him to prevent him from rolling off the bed, but he had pushed those off and landing on them. I just pull him back in bed with me, because even though I feel like a horrible mother for letting him fall off the bed, I'm too tired to do anything about it at his point and it's never happened before, so I figure we'll be ok. At 6:30 the 4 yr old comes in and I tell him something unintelligible and he disappears. A few minutes later I hear him screaming and come downstairs to find him and his sister awake and fighting already. I go upstairs to put baby in his crib so we don't have a repeat of him falling off the bed. But of course, this wakes him up and he's ready for the day.
And my day begins....
Welcome to my blog!
Every time I tell my mom something that has happened in my crazy life, she tells me "you should write a book!" So instead I'm writing a blog. I'm new at this so bear with me. :)
First, let me introduce myself. Hi, my name is Wendy. :) I'm a mother of 3, step-mom of 1, wife, daughter, sister, friend, ring-master, etc, etc. Currently I'm a stay at home mom to my wonderful kids. My husband is a truck driver who is gone most of the time, and my zoo consists of a 10 year old daughter, 4 year old son, my baby boy who is about to turn 2 (which is an issue I've yet to come to terms with, but we'll save that for anther post!), and our cat. My step-son is 15 and lives most of the time with his mom on the other side of the country.
I say I'm "Wendy in the middle" because I feel like I think most moms feel. I'm stuck in the middle of being mom and wife. The real me is in there somewhere, but I feel like a short kid playing monkey in the middle. I can't ever quite catch the ball. Oh wait, I was the short kid in the middle... Even in the world of mommy-hood, I'm in the middle. I'm not quite mainstream, but I'm not completely crunchy.
So this is going to be my story. Well, more likely, the story of what happens to a mom in the middle. :)
First, let me introduce myself. Hi, my name is Wendy. :) I'm a mother of 3, step-mom of 1, wife, daughter, sister, friend, ring-master, etc, etc. Currently I'm a stay at home mom to my wonderful kids. My husband is a truck driver who is gone most of the time, and my zoo consists of a 10 year old daughter, 4 year old son, my baby boy who is about to turn 2 (which is an issue I've yet to come to terms with, but we'll save that for anther post!), and our cat. My step-son is 15 and lives most of the time with his mom on the other side of the country.
I say I'm "Wendy in the middle" because I feel like I think most moms feel. I'm stuck in the middle of being mom and wife. The real me is in there somewhere, but I feel like a short kid playing monkey in the middle. I can't ever quite catch the ball. Oh wait, I was the short kid in the middle... Even in the world of mommy-hood, I'm in the middle. I'm not quite mainstream, but I'm not completely crunchy.
So this is going to be my story. Well, more likely, the story of what happens to a mom in the middle. :)
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