Aliens could take a few notes from our human kids on brain swapping. All those cases of being abducted by aliens and being experimented on? That's just their field trip.
"Look at this female human, the smaller humans have made a complete brain transplant without even leaving a scar! Make sure you look over the entire body for any clues."
Yup. Our children are the experts at brainwashing. Before I had kids, I was smart. I knew a lot of stuff. I would give you examples, but I don't even remember what I've forgotten at this point. The first baby wasn't so bad. I was in college when she was little, so I was able to counteract some of the brainwashing. I even graduated with a GPA somewhere between 3.5 and 4.0. I don't know exactly what it was, that too is gone. But, at least I have proof! I once had a fully functioning brain!
Now that I have 3 kids, I don't think there is any hope of getting my old brain back. It's long gone. My new brain didn't even come with a complete dictionary! I've completely forgotten how to spell simple words, heck I've just plain forgotten simple words!
Me "Honey, have you seen my things that go in the thing?"
Hubby "I have no idea what you are talking about."
Me "You know, the things... it starts with an R I think, and they turn in the thing that starts with a different letter. I left them where I always do."
Hubby "Then look there, I still have no idea what you are talking about."
Me "I would look there if I remembered where I leave them."
"oh wait, here they are!" (Me holding up keys in victory!)
Hubby "your keys?!" (Hubby shakes head and laughs at me.)
I was once good at math, too. It's true. I aced calculus in high school. Now, I have to use my fingers to count how many people we are going to have for dinner.
Kids don't leave us completely brain dead, though! Oh no, my new brain is full to the brim! I know the name and personality of every train on the Island of Sodor (that's where Thomas the tank engine lives, don't you know). I can sing all the songs from all the Barbie movies. I can sing and act out the "quack quack waddle waddle" song like a pro. My fine motor skills are now focused on undoing knots on Barbie's bathing suit. I can quote the movie "Cars" from beginning to end. I can read Dr. Suess's ABCs with my eyes closed (Aunt Annie's alligator, A A A). My culinary skills have soared. I can perfectly cut a peanut butter and jelly sandwich into two big triangles and two slightly smaller triangles (this is a big deal to the four year old). I know all the names of the backyardigans and can sound like baby jaguar from diego. I even know that Hannah Montana is so yesterday, and Selena Gomez is totally cool.
Luckily my kids are cute and reward me with lots of hugs and kisses when I've learned a new trick. Maybe someday I'll find my old brain, but I guess this one is going to be here to stay for a while!